When Hard Becomes Holy

When life doesn’t go as planned, it can be difficult to trust that God is still working. In this post, I share a personal journey of surrender, faith, and learning how God can make even the hardest moments work for our good.

I’m excited to talk to you today about something that has really been on my heart—what it means to truly submit our will to God.

In this episode:

• Learning to trust God when you don’t understand what’s coming

• How my cancer diagnosis taught me true submission

• Why resisting growth keeps us stuck

• The power of saying “but if not” in hard moments

• How to ask God for what is right, not just what we want

It was a couple of years ago when I received a prompting that something big was going to happen.

I didn’t know what that “big” was—and honestly, my mind immediately went to the worst-case scenario. I was pretty sure it was cancer and that I was going to die.

I remember talking with a good friend, and she gently said, “Maybe it’s not bad. Does it have to be bad?”

And I thought… no, it doesn’t have to be bad. But if I’m being honest, my default was to expect something hard.

Then I started to shift my thinking:
What if it is something good?
What if it’s something I’m meant to do?

But even then, I questioned how. I was growing and becoming a different person, but I still had insecurities. I still felt like I wasn’t enough.

And yet, I felt the Lord telling me:
You will use what you’ve learned. I will give you the words.

Fast forward… I started exploring new opportunities, and then I found out I had cancer.

I’ve shared parts of that journey before, but what came out of that experience more than anything was this:

The opportunity to submit.

And submission is not easy.

But I have found that as I become more submissive to the will of my Heavenly Father…
the hard of life becomes more holy.

There’s a quote that has stayed with me from Kristen Yee:

“There may be times we are not willing to look inside ourselves and see that which really needs healing and repair.”

And in The Chronicles of Narnia, Aslan says:

“Humankind, how cleverly you defend yourselves from all that might do you good.”

That question has stuck with me:

Where am I defending myself from the very things that could help me grow?

Because submission means giving everything to God—not just the easy parts.

It means asking:

• What do I need to let go of?

• What am I still holding onto?

• What am I not ready to give up yet?

And then having the courage to say:
“Thy will be done.”

The night before my surgery, I had a moment with the Lord that I will never forget.

At the time, I had a child who was struggling deeply. And in that moment, I told God:

If this cancer helps them… I will take it.

I was willing to accept whatever He needed me to go through.

I remember feeling emotional and incredibly close to the Savior. And I had this thought:

This is just a tiny glimpse of what Christ felt in Gethsemane.

That kind of surrender changes you.

In a powerful talk by Neal A. Maxwell called “Willing to Submit,” he teaches that we can’t be half-hearted.

Because half-hearted faith leads to:

• Half the growth

• Half the blessings

• Half the life

And that hit me.

Because if I’m honest, I’ve had moments where I wanted to follow God… but still control the outcome.

I would pray like this:
“Okay God, here’s the plan—and here’s where I need you to step in.”

But true submission sounds more like:
“Okay… I will let You lead.”

One of the most powerful principles I’ve learned comes from the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

They said:
“God will deliver us… but if not…”

Those three words—but if not—are everything.

• I want to be healed… but if not

• I want this to work out… but if not

• I want life to feel easier… but if not

Those words are a declaration of trust.

They say:
“I trust You, God, no matter what.”

In scripture, we’re taught to ask God for what is right—not just what we want.

That has changed how I pray.

Instead of just asking for outcomes, I try to ask:

• What is right for me?

• What is God trying to accomplish?

• What will help me become who He needs me to be?

Because sometimes what we want…
is not what will shape us.

I’ve come to realize that life is constantly shaping us.

Sometimes that shaping comes through:

• Disappointment

• Humility

• Loss

• Change

Some of it is self-inflicted.
Some of it comes from others.
And some of it… God allows.

The question is:

Can we accept what is—and trust that we are in His hands?

As it says in scripture:

“Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God?”

When I think about submission, I can’t help but think about the Savior.

Even He, in His perfect understanding, said:

“Take this cup from me… nevertheless, not as I will, but as Thou wilt.”

If Christ had to submit…
then of course we do too.

But we don’t do it alone.

Life is hard.

Pres. Camille Johnson recently said, "The hard becomes holy when Jesus Christ is at the center."

You are not behind.
You are not failing.
You are being shaped.

So whatever you’re walking through right now—

Trust Him.
Be Willing to Submit.
Let Him make something holy out of it.

You are in His hands.

Until next time…
be still, believe, become.