When Grief Comes in Waves

What happens to your faith when the unthinkable becomes reality?

In this deeply moving episode of Becoming the Oak Rooted in Christ, I sit down with my friend Lisa Mitchell to talk about something no parent ever wants to imagine—the sudden loss of a child.

Lisa’s 13-year-old son, Eli, was tragically killed in a drunk driving accident in 2022 while riding his bike home from the store. In a single moment, her life changed forever. The future she had envisioned for her family suddenly looked very different.

But Lisa’s story is not only one of heartbreak. It is also a story of faith, resilience, and learning to trust God even when life feels unbearably painful.

In our conversation, Lisa shares what those first moments were like when she learned Eli was gone, the unexpected way shock protected her during the early stages of grief, and how her belief in God’s plan and eternal families gave her the strength to keep moving forward.

One of the most powerful lessons Lisa shares is that grief comes in waves. Some days feel manageable, while others feel overwhelming. Instead of resisting those waves, she has learned to allow herself to feel them, trusting that Christ is present through every moment of sorrow.

We also talk about how faith in Jesus Christ provides hope even when circumstances make no sense. Lisa explains that what brought her the greatest peace was not focusing on her own strength, but on what she knows about who Eli is and where he is now. That eternal perspective continues to anchor her through the ongoing journey of grief.

Today, Lisa honors Eli’s life through her watercolor artwork and the mission behind Live Like Eli, where she hopes to spread kindness, faith, and goodness in his name.

This episode is tender, honest, and filled with reminders that even in life’s darkest moments, we are not alone. Christ meets us in our grief, walks beside us in our pain, and helps us find moments of peace and joy again.

If you or someone you love is walking through loss, I hope Lisa’s story reminds you that healing is possible—and that hope in Christ can carry us through even the most unimaginable trials.

In this episode:

• Lisa shares the story of her son Eli and the tragic accident that took his life
• What grief really looks like four years after losing a child
• Why understanding God’s plan brings peace even in tragedy
• The powerful metaphor that grief comes in waves
• How faith in Jesus Christ carried Lisa through the darkest moments

Lisa: My name is Lisa, like Kendra mentioned, and I am a mother of two. I married a little later in life, so my family size was kind of limited by that. I have a daughter named Emma, who is about to turn 20, and a son named Eli, who is three years younger than that.

This story really centers around him and how his sweet life unfolded here on earth. He was exactly 13 in 2022. He was such an awesome kid—funny, easy-going, likable, and a true people person without even trying. Something that was said about him, which is true, is that he had “quirky confidence.”

Kendra: Well, I mean…

Lisa: And he did. You’d think he was kind of a weird duck, but he just drew people to him. He and his older sister had their sibling moments, like any siblings, but four years ago in 2022, they were at a really lovely moment in their relationship. Emma had decided to love him instead of irritate him, and he followed suit. She became the awesome, loving sister, and he was chill in return. They called each other “bestie,” and it was just a sweet sibling situation.

He was also a hard worker. He’d saved money for a debit card, which I finally got for him after a year. On April 26th, 2022, he came home from school excited to use it. He had a plan to go to the grocery store and buy treats—Kit Kats and chocolate donuts—using his new card.

Lisa: On his way home, he was riding his bike on a neighborhood street, following all the rules—helmet on, stopped at the crosswalk, right of way. At that moment, a man who had been drinking at a nearby bar for six hours drove into the intersection. He hit Eli with a huge truck and fled the scene. There were many witnesses and even video footage.

The truck dragged Eli’s bike for a while. The man removed the bike, left Eli’s bag of treats behind, and drove away for a couple of hours before police caught up with him. This tragic moment began a journey that’s lasted almost four years—Eli not being with us.

Kendra: I appreciate you sharing this. I know even after four years, it’s incredibly hard to talk about.

Lisa: Yeah, of course. It is super hard. There has been healing, but grief doesn’t just disappear—it evolves.

Kendra: What was your initial reaction when you found out your son was gone?

Lisa: It was at a soccer game nearby. We heard neighbors say something happened on 90th South, so we avoided the street and went home. I called for Eli, texted him—no answer. I even sent a neighborhood message, which wasn’t unusual, but nothing. My sister-in-law, who tracks our family, knew something was wrong.

We were sitting there with no answers, feeling helpless. I thought, “We should just pray. We have nothing else to do.” My first instinct was this simple prayer:

"Help us cope with whatever is happening."

I didn’t know he had died yet—I thought he might be injured. Soon after, I heard the front door and saw my husband Jeremy come in with a police officer. He said, “He’s gone.”

Lisa: I can’t really explain how I felt. You’d expect to crumple, wail, or cry uncontrollably. I couldn’t. I hugged Jeremy and just said… nothing. My body couldn’t process it.

Kendra: Your body was just trying to process the news.

Lisa: Yes. I think every parent feels this, but I had thought through scenarios in life, and I never imagined surviving this one. My initial reaction was stunned silence. I later called it a “shield” because for about a year, I felt impenetrable—my body and soul protecting me from the reality. That shield was a blessing because it helped me survive an extremely difficult year.

Kendra: Russell M. Nelson says that almost every decision you make in life is based on how you feel about your divine identity. How did your knowledge that you are a divine daughter of a loving Heavenly Father help you through this grief?

Lisa: What saved me was my knowledge about Eli—his identity—and God’s plan for all of us. From the moment I knew he had passed, I also knew that Eli was okay. I knew where he was was beautiful, and he had done what he needed to do. That brought me so much peace.

Even though I didn’t consciously think about my divine identity at the time, my understanding of a loving Father and Savior helped me see beyond the sadness and loss. God can take tragic, ugly, or terrible events and bring beauty out of them.

Kendra: Right, having an understanding of life, death, and our purpose gives confidence even in the hardest circumstances.

Lisa: Absolutely. I don’t know how people survive without believing in a higher power. That faith is really the only reason I can cope.

Lisa: One lesson I had started before losing Eli was learning to live in the moment. Worrying about the past or future drains your energy. I focus on what I can handle today, this moment.

Someone gave me a painting of the ocean with a parable called Grief Comes in Waves. At first, the waves are so strong they plow you over. But I’ve learned to ride the wave—let it wash over me without resistance. Cry when I need to, feel what I need to, and eventually the wave subsides. Then, another comes. Grief doesn’t go away; it comes in waves.

Kendra: When you’re going through a wave, do you feel the support of Jesus Christ?

Lisa: Sometimes I didn’t recognize it in the moment, but looking back, I see how the Savior helped through people, love, and support. Prayer, scripture, and tools from my faith invited His presence and gave me the strength to survive.

Lisa: A friend connected me with Marie Osmond, who lost a son to suicide. She encouraged me to write to Eli. I felt his spirit close, and that became a way of feeling Jesus holding my hand.

Even small acts—painting, journaling, and leaning on loved ones—became lifelines. Without them, I wouldn’t have survived.

Lisa: When grief hits, you can turn toward Christ or away from Him. Turning toward Him doesn’t mean instant healing; it can mean being still, inviting His Spirit, and putting one foot in front of the other. Christ will carry you, even when you can’t take steps yourself.

I imagine a picture of Christ on one side of a door with no doorknob. He’s always there, waiting, and we get to choose to open the door.

Kendra: Who do you feel like you’ve become from this experience?

Lisa: I’ve learned to find joy in the moment and the journey, not in the end goal. Joy now comes from the present, from knowing Eli is at peace, and from envisioning our reunion one day.

I’ve also discovered gifts like watercolor painting. It started as therapy and became a way to honor Eli. My art supports Live Like Eli, a nonprofit helping others in his name. Every penny goes to fund missions and spread joy. You can learn more at Live Like Eli.

Peace and joy are not found in perfect circumstances, as Lisa has shown us today. They are found when our hearts are rooted in Jesus Christ.

If you loved this story, share it with someone who might need encouragement. Take a moment to leave a review—it helps more women find this message. Until next week, be still, believe, and become.