The Wrestle of Life

Hi and welcome back to Becoming the Oak Rooted in Christ. I'm your host, Kendra George, and I am excited to have you with me today.

This podcast is for women who are seeking to find more joy and more fulfillment in their lives by rooting themselves in Jesus Christ. Generally, we have a guest on who shares their story of faith that helped them root themselves in Christ.

But today I feel prompted to do a solo show.

I have felt prompted by the Spirit to start this podcast in the first place, and so I have really been trying to be mindful of how the Lord wants this podcast to go.

Over the last week, I have been wrestling with different ideas and different things that I should be talking about or things that I should be doing. It's been a very interesting process to see where the Lord is leading me.

Something that I have learned over the last week is that I need to be in alignment with Him so that this is effective and that I am being the instrument that God needs me to be.

That being said, this solo episode is all about the wrestle.

We just finished wrestling season at my house. I have five children, and four of those five children have all wrestled.

I love wrestling. It is my favorite sport. There are so many life lessons and spiritual analogies that you can take from wrestling.

So what I wanted to do today is talk about the wrestle of life.

One of my senior wrestlers had a really fantastic wrestling season and had some goals and things that they wanted to achieve. Things didn't quite turn out the way they had expected.

As much as they put in the work and did everything they needed to do, there was some disappointment and heartache.

I wanted to talk about our spiritual wrestle that we have with life.

I first wanted to quote Sister Sherry Dew in her book Worth the Wrestle. This is what she says:

“Wrestling is an interesting verb and an even more interesting sport. Champion wrestlers insist that it isn't necessarily the strongest wrestler or the one with the biggest muscle mass who wins. Winning wrestlers learn to leverage their strength to subdue, overpower, and defeat their opponents.

Spiritual wrestling leverages the strength of true doctrine to overpower our weaknesses, our wavering faith, and our lack of knowledge.

Spiritual wrestlers are seekers. They are men and women of faith who want to understand more than they presently do and who are serious about increasing the light and knowledge in their lives.”

Brigham Young articulated the nature of this reality when he declared that the men and women who desire to obtain seats in the celestial kingdom will find that they must battle every day.

So I was thinking about my senior and this wrestle and the experience they had at state. Both of my wrestlers went to state this year, and my senior has actually been to state all four years of high school.

I created a picture for them that said Life Lessons of Wrestling, and then I wrote them a note.

I let them know that everything they have learned over the last seven years is only the beginning.

Their wrestling season may be over, but they are starting the wrestle of life—leaving home, going to school, serving missions, and doing things that can be really hard.

It is a wrestle every day—a spiritual wrestle and a physical wrestle. We have this constantly.

So I wanted to dig into the life lessons they learned in their wrestling experience as a middle school and high school wrestler, and how we can apply those lessons to our lives as we wrestle daily with challenges, weaknesses, and obstacles that come.

Joshua 1:9 says:

“Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”

Staying courageous under pressure is obviously not easy.

I was struggling personally with this at the beginning of the week. I feel like I'm constantly wrestling with myself about what I need to do for a podcast topic or how I am going to be effective.

That’s really what I have been asking myself.

I feel so inadequate when I am preparing for the podcast and figuring out what to say.

Like I said in episode one, if you heard that discussion about comparison, I fall into that so easily and so quickly.

The problem with that is I start trying to be other people, but the Lord needs me to be me if I'm going to do this podcast and be an instrument for Him in this way.

I found that I have been using AI a lot to help me with my words because I'm not confident in my writing ability or in the way that I present myself sometimes.

So I have been leaning on AI to help me.

But in the back of my head, I kept thinking that I shouldn't, because if AI is speaking for me, I'm not allowing the Spirit to speak through me.

So I was listening to Henry B. Eyring's conference talk from the last General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

He said something that really struck me, and the Spirit kind of gave me a little kick in the behind because I was not allowing God to prevail in my life.

I was not having confidence in myself or confidence in Heavenly Father that He would be able to tell me what I needed to do and what I needed to say.

President Eyring said this:

“To prove something is not simply to test it; it is to increase its strength. To prove a piece of steel is to place it under strain. Heat, weight, and pressure are added until its true nature is enhanced and revealed. The steel is not weakened by the proving. In fact, it becomes something that can be trusted—something strong enough to bear greater burdens.”

And I had to ask myself:

Was I allowing the Lord to refine me and prove me so that I could become stronger?

What I realized was that courage under pressure is recognizing that the Lord loves me.

So do I have courage in myself?

Because in His strength, I can do all things.

When I believe that, courage under pressure becomes my friend and my ally. It becomes, “Bring it on. Let's do this.”

I can be refined.

I know it's not going to be comfortable, but I can do it.

I am so grateful for that principle and that life lesson in this wrestle with ourselves and with life—that we can be courageous under pressure because of Jesus Christ.

As I watch my kids wrestle, it is intense.

It can be two minutes, up to six minutes, but those minutes are filled with constant pressure.

Even when you are prepared, there are unexpected twists and turns that happen.

They have what it takes every single time, but it takes a lot out of them as they do it.

There is a scripture in the Book of Mormon, in the book of Ether, chapter 12, verse 27, that says:

“If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness… then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

Life is not meant to be easy.

It was meant to challenge us, stretch us, and help us grow.

At times it will feel like we can't do any more, but this is exactly the time when we put our humility, faith, and trust in Jesus Christ.

He won't let you fail.

Failing is a faithful attempt in learning.

When we allow every experience to be for our learning, the Lord will make it work for our good as well.

He has already prepared you, and He has already given you everything you need.

So do everything you can.

It's going to take a lot out of you.

And just know that when you hit a challenge, an obstacle, or the monotony of everyday life, it may take a lot out of you.

But you've got this.

You can handle this because Jesus Christ is handling you. He has you in the palm of His hands and is strengthening you in ways that you can't even imagine.

Now, when I read this life lesson, I was immediately brought to an experience we had this season.

One of my kids was wrestling another school, and this team was hardcore. Every single person on their team was pretty phenomenal.

But the humility aspect of this team was honestly disturbing.

They were mean when they won. They were arrogant. They kind of shoved it in the face of their opponent that they were amazing.

It was very disturbing to watch.

One thing that I love about our school's wrestling team is that they wrestle because they love it and they want to do well, but they are very humble about it.

There is something to be said about being humble when you are victorious.

It says a lot about your character.

Deuteronomy 8:11–14 says, paraphrased:

“Beware that thou forget not the Lord thy God… lest when thou hast eaten and art full… thine heart be lifted up and thou forget the Lord.”

The humility that comes from remembering the Lord adds deeper meaning to our accomplishments.

It reminds us that we are dependent on the Lord and that mortality is only one phase of our eternal existence.

Kevin G. Worthen taught that humility is the key to accomplishing mighty miracles as we enlist the help of the Lord in our righteous endeavors.

And it is so true.

I have found in my own life that when I am humble and grateful and acknowledge what the Lord has given me, I see things differently.

My perspective changes.

The way I go about living is different.

I feel more peace and feel more connected with Heavenly Father.

He has given us everything.

We can do great things, but we must recognize that we do them with Jesus Christ’s help, not on our own.

The faster we realize that we can have victories while acknowledging who helped us obtain them, the better.

That is really, really important.

Number four life lesson: Your character is more important than how good you are.

I love this life lesson.

My husband and I have tried really, really hard to instill in our children the value of character. I want them to do well in everything that they do, but it’s more important how they come out of the situations.

You see a lot of examples during wrestling season of how people respond to their losses.

Your character and the way that you come out of situations—win or lose—says so much about who you are as a person and the Christ-like qualities that you are developing.

1 Samuel 16:7 says:

“For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”

We need to be more concerned with our character than our reputation, because our character is what we really are, while our reputation is merely what other people think we are.

I love that quote. I found it on social media:

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what other people think you really are.”

The Lord knows who we really are.

I think back on those wrestlers who won and were victorious, but it did not reflect their character well in the way they were responding and reacting to their wins.

So keep that in mind.

Character is so important, and character built on Christ-like attributes is going to make you an amazing individual and will allow you to bring so much good to the world.

God will be able to use you and your gifts because you are true to yourself and true to who you know you can be.

Life lesson number five: Nothing worthwhile comes easy.

I love the scripture in the Book of Mormon in Alma 37:6:

“By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.”

Hard is the only thing that’s constant, right?

If you consider the acorn breaking out of its shell, there are so many things that are worthwhile, but they come with a lot of work and they do not come easy.

That used to frustrate me so much.

I have said more than once, “Why can’t it just be easy? Why do I have to work so hard for everything?”

And that stopped me from progressing because I was tired. I would think, I don’t want to keep doing it. I want something just to be easy.

But easy isn’t what strengthens.

It’s the hard that strengthens.

President Russell M. Nelson said:

“The Lord loves effort because effort brings rewards that don’t come without it.”

I was thinking about one of the wrestlers years ago when I had an older child wrestling. I had so much admiration for this kid.

He would come out and put everything into every match, and he lost pretty much every single time.

But every year he came back.

Every year he kept working and just doing it because he loved the sport. It didn’t matter how hard it was.

All of that work finally paid off.

I think it was his senior year when he started getting wins, and the whole team was just amazed.

Everyone was cheering him on and so happy for him because of all that work.

But he didn’t give up.

He kept going.

He definitely applied this principle: hard strengthens.

Even if you don’t see it, the small and simple things that you are doing every day are helping you grow and become stronger.

So don’t stop.

Keep going.

Because nothing worthwhile comes easy, and the benefits and rewards from pushing through the hard are going to be tenfold.

So don’t give up.

Keep going.

Life lesson number six: The battle is not on the mat, but in your mind.

Mindset is everything.

Having your heart and your mind in sync really propels you forward.

We’ve all heard the quote:

“As a man thinketh, so is he.”

It’s not just about having a positive mindset all the time.

It’s about believing.

Believing that you can do it.

Ephesians 6:12 talks about putting on the whole armor of God. The scripture says:

“Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

As soon as you start to do something good, there will be opposition.

The adversary will say:

“You can’t do this.”
“You’re not good enough.”
“No one is going to listen to you.”
“You don’t have what it takes.”

But Jesus Christ has what it takes.

Jesus Christ is your strength and your support.

Put your mind and your heart toward Him, because you can do it.

All God needs in order to accomplish His purposes is for us to come to Him with all of our heart, mind, and strength.

That’s it.

There was a picture I saw on social media of a wrestler surrounded by all the words of why he couldn’t achieve anything. All of those words were around him in black.

But his hand was reaching up and holding on to Christ, and Christ was pulling him out of that mindset.

Allow that to happen in your life.

The adversary knows exactly where to get you. He knows you as well as Christ knows you because he lived with you in the pre-existence.

He knows where he can get you.

Turn to Christ.

Let Him be your strength.

Give your heart and your mind to Him.

It’s not easy, but it is doable.

It goes back to taking time and doing the small and simple things.

Choose to be consumed by Christ because the battle is not what is happening right in front of you.

The battle is how you respond to it.

So react in a way where Christ is your shield and your buckler and He is your support and your strength.

Number seven: Adaptability is crucial to success.

Pastor John Anasike said:

“In your pursuit of success, flexibility and dynamism are prerequisites. Don’t be too rigid to adapt to change.”

Another quote from David A. Bednar says:

“The essence of our mortal experience is not to remain the same.”

The restoration of the gospel teaches us our eternal purpose and destiny.

We don’t achieve that destiny by just hunkering down and staying the same.

The natural man and natural woman hate change.

Men and women of Christ learn to love change and the lessons learned in the process.

One of the fundamental aspects of overcoming the natural man and woman is not resisting change, but embracing it and learning from it.

This was transformative for me.

As soon as I realized that the more open and curious I was about change, about being flexible and adapting to situations, the more confident I became in my ability to make decisions and react appropriately.

When we are flexible instead of rigid, we allow the Spirit to teach us.

We allow Christ to enter our hearts and guide us.

But if we have rigid expectations about how things should be, we close ourselves off from that openness and teachability.

So the more open, curious, and adaptable we are, the more we allow the Lord to guide us.

I remember when I was health coaching, I had a very rigid mindset. I thought that health coaching was the path I needed to be on.

But I started feeling like I was being pulled in different directions.

At the time I was working with a personal coach, and when I mentioned this to her she asked:

“What if it’s not?”

“What if it was just the vehicle that was meant to move you somewhere else?”

That question changed my perspective.

Sometimes the Lord leads us in directions we never expected.

When we stay adaptable, we allow Him to guide us.

Number eight: Being disciplined pays off.

Mosiah 4:27 says:

“See that you are not slothful, but be diligent in keeping the commandments of God.”

If you think about the word discipline, the root word is disciple.

A disciple is a follower of Christ.

Brad Wilcox explained it this way:

“Being a disciple takes our beliefs to the next level.”

As disciples, we strive to live according to what we believe. We value discipline in standards, boundaries, and commandments, and we enjoy the blessings connected with them.

For me, this life lesson comes back to understanding your why.

Why are you doing what you're doing?

Being disciplined in something when you don’t understand your purpose is much harder than being disciplined when you know what you want to accomplish.

It also involves being honest about your actions and the steps you need to take moving forward.

You can’t say something is a great idea and then never act on it.

So think about discipline as being a disciple of Christ.

What does that mean for you?

Why are you doing what you’re doing?

When you understand your why, discipline becomes easier because it gives you purpose and direction.

All right, number nine: Celebrate the wins, but learn from the losses.

Victory teaches us pride. Defeat teaches us humility. Together they shape wisdom.

One of the questions I would always ask my wrestlers when they lost specifically is, What did you learn that you can do differently next time?

But also celebrating the wins.

Celebrating that you went to practice every single day.

Celebrating the wins for my wrestler who’s a senior this year that state didn’t turn out quite like they had imagined.

The win was: you went to state every single year as a high schooler.

That’s a win. That’s a huge accomplishment. A lot of kids don’t get that opportunity.

Where have we come from?
What have we accomplished?
Where have we gained?
Where have we grown?

It is so important to celebrate the tiny wins.

Whatever you did that day, look at those tender mercies. See where you accomplished one task and celebrate it.

Because the more we celebrate the tiny wins, the more open we can be to those losses and the things that don’t go as expected or as planned.

Then we can look at them and say, Okay, what can I do differently next time?

That open curiosity is so valuable.

So valuable because it allows the Spirit to teach us where we can improve and what we can do better.

One of my kids once said:

“I think I have a spiritual gift of being able to not have regrets and learn from all of my experiences.”

And I would agree.

When mistakes are made, they say, Okay, well, let’s move on. Let’s figure out what happened and move on.

They have done that their whole life, and it is a beautiful thing to see because they are constantly moving forward.

They don’t get stuck in the what-ifs or the regrets.

They learn from it, they move on, they celebrate where they’ve done great, and they learn from what they’ve done wrong.